The introverts. The quiet ones. The people who think before they speak. The processors.
And the cry of facilitators: “How do I get them to talk more?”
I spend most of my time in meetings thinking, not talking. It doesn’t mean I’m any less engaged. Or that I need to talk more. But there are some ways to draw me into discussion.
As a facilitator, these are a few techniques I use to ensure people have space and comfort to speak in meetings.
Silent writing
I write more comfortably than I speak. I can generate ideas on paper all day. And I do it best when I have time to think. If you put me on the spot to talk immediately, I will freeze.
Include an exercise in silent writing during your meetings. Set a timer and have people write down their ideas. I like Miro, Mural, Lean Coffee Table, or Easy Retro for this exercise. You can follow up by having each person share, or have participants vote on what to talk about.
Chat
I don’t mean talking. I mean the chat function in your meeting tool. I’ve been to meetings where the verbal discussion was completely silent, but chat was blowing up.
Treat chat as an equal avenue of engagement during the meeting. Encourage people to use it, use it yourself, keep an eye on it when you’re facilitating, and acknowledge anything interesting that comes up.
Invitation
I took an online, real-time class recently. I couldn’t tell you what happened during most of the exercises. Because the instructor called out people at random, I spent the exercise portions dreading being chosen and rehearsing what I’d say if it happened.
I want to be engaged on my own terms. For the quieter folks in the room, instead of singling them out with, “We haven’t heard from X. X, what do you think?” as I have in the past, I am now experimenting with this: “For anyone we haven’t heard from in this meeting, I invite you to share if you would like to.”
Unmute
I worked with a Product Owner at Dolby whose superpower was catching the quickest of unmute/mutes from our team members. I don’t know how he saw them so fast (we worked in gaming so maybe it was those reflexes?). But he just seemed to know when someone wanted to speak but was getting cut off.
This happens to me a lot. I get interrupted and talked over to the point where I stop even trying. Unless I have someone like him who notices and draws me out. I try my best to catch this as a facilitator with, “X, I saw you unmute – was there anything you wanted to add?”
Don’t fear the quiet people in meetings; embrace them (figuratively, please). We have a rich inner world that we may be willing to share. We just need the right space.
If you’re looking for more, check out the book Quiet by Susan Cain.
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash